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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?