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Our friends for more than 20 years, who has overcome several hardships, which I admire. However, she's constantly taken by surprise by others. Her husband left her, and it was an unexpected event. A lot of her social circle vanished during that time, because they seemed only interested in her husband. This surprised her. She made more effort to be my friend, and must have grasped more clearly what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, quite a few of her friends have disappeared leaving her sure why. Her previous job turned on her, although she had been very skilled at her work, and she left without knowing why things shifted.

Present Situation

In recent times, we've both left the workforce so we're spending time together, but I am finding the part I play between us is to listen. I start subjects and she changes the talk toward her own topics. Regarding political views, she holds unyielding views. I attempt to propose factchecking and different perspectives.

She's been planning a vacation abroad I know well many times even called home for some time. I tried to provide personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She essentially solely sought my agreement with her choices. I have returned from a month in that place she is eager to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want in this role who abandons suddenly abruptly, however, I feel she can understand the impact of her actions on my confidence. At this point, I find myself in pulling back. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to cut and run, but it is not often the easy answer we hope for. However, addressing it aiming for resolution takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible and essentially exactly what occurs. Next is to tell how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no disagreement on this point. Emotions are valid, after all. Step three involves requesting ways you together will alter the pattern between you."

Remember she too holds perspectives, thus requiring you to remain ready to listen to her. One effective method is telling to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts while I will remain silent for half an hour."

It's remarkably impactful for promoting better communication.

Closing Considerations

Your friend might reject your concerns, as some people cling to a deep-seated story: they maintain a story about themselves they're unable to let go of because their very survival is tied to it and it represents they've known. It's tough as there is no clear path with these people, mere obstacles. But she may initially present defensively before reflecting about what you've said. And even if a resolution isn't found a fix, you'll have satisfaction from having been truthful.